Pablo's Speech
December 7th, 2017
"Hi my name is Pablo Rothschild and I'm running to represent you as President of the United States.
My campaign is more than just letters on paper or words on a screen. It goes beyond that. I like to think of my campaign as a collection of voices. Your voices. Many other candidates excel at trivial things like speaking or writing; I, winning. But it will not just be me who wins, it will be you.
Now today I am going to follow in the footsteps of a character in the famous novel, All the King’s Men, Willie Stark’s (2). Instead of putting you to sleep with an endless wave of statistics, I am here to appeal to your emotions. Specifically two: ambition and empathy. By ambition I mean that I have the will and drive to fight for what is right, and for you. By empathy I mean that I care about this country, and my fight will be for you (4). Furthermore, as Willie always said, “from the stink of the didie (die di) to the stench of the shroud, there is always something.” I will uncover this something and expose my shoddy opposition candidates for who they are at heart: That is, the losers of this campaign. In this race, I am George Washington, and in my opposition I see only Mitt Romneys, Richard Nixons, and BCC Barons.
Since I was a young boy, I have been fortunate enough to travel across all of our vast oceans and to many culturally rich countries. Having personally visited 5 out of the 7 continents, I have had the opportunity to learn about other countries’ lavish and enlightening cultures. On one of my many trips to rebuild Latin America, I spent a couple weeks in a local village that could not be located on a map, GPS, or on your smartphone. This was an eyeopening experience for me and taught me the value of the American dream. I remember one overcast afternoon, I was sitting down with the locals eating our daily beans, rice, and plantains. We were discussing the bombardment of United States aid in their town and neighboring villages. We discussed and debated till the bright sun set over the mystic mountains about a strong strategy for U.S. aid. I believe and plan to set forth a program that has been supported in the most recent polls. I will not force our supplements into foreign nations, but will rather offer them to our close allies and regions where their success will help boost our economy. For those of you that do not already know, I am endorsed by Professor Keyser. She is known around the outskirts of DC for her experience with international relations and her expertise with foreign policy. We have discussed about my platform for great length and I have her full support and I have adapted some of her principles into my campaign and foreign strategy. As president, one must be a voice for everyone in the country. We also will continue to accept refugees from Syria with the current 12-18 month screening period. Our administration agree with the guidelines set out by Montesquieu that people are naturally good, but we understand there are those occasional Tony Montanas. In general, these are people who need help and as the statue of liberty says: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” We have a moral obligation to help those in need, and I will satisfy it. As for ISIS, we will continue to collaborate with our Middle-Eastern allies to contain and eventually eliminate them without putting boots on the ground. We will defend our values with firmness. We will stand by our allies with grit. And we will maintain a strong presence on the global stage without becoming warhawks.
Now let me talk about the economy. Where money is not in the hands of consumers; there, the economy does not flourish; there, the hard working lower and middle classes do not flourish; there, only the one percent flourish. I am here to make sure that does not happen. I am here to put money into consumers’ pockets. Into your pockets. I will accomplish this through the implementation of a progressive tax that will increase taxes on the rich, provide tax cuts on small businesses to put more money in your hands, and help spur the economy. An increased income tax on the wealthy will also help provide revenue for welfare programs. I believe that when the middle class is successful, America is successful.
Some may think money and prestige are vital to succeed; Our campaign believes it is our children. Students are the backbone of our nation and public education allows adolescents of all income levels to be given the same platform towards success. There are two main questions regarding education for our nation: how to fund state universities and how to fix so-called high school "dropout factories." A highschool “dropout” factory is when 60% of the freshman class does not make it to senior year. Currently, this impacts 1 in every 10 high schools. States need to build data systems to keep track of students throughout their school career and more accurately measure the dropout rates. These strong progress goals for graduation rates will be imposed on schools that miss the benchmark. I am endorsed by Mr. Jerome Easton, a nationally announced education expert who served as our previous president’s Secretary of Education. He has graciously offered his resources and expertise to my presidency and together we have set the goal to rebuild our education system. Furthermore, college needs to be more affordable for our students, but they must show hard work and commitment to be applicable. Numerous studies have shown a college education and degree greatly progress someone’s success. Your success is the economy’s success, which is this nation’s success. Success only comes before work in the dictionary. We are here to do that work.
Obamacare. While it may be an admittedly rocky subject, I would like to take a little time to focus on it. I will continue Obamacare due to all the good it has done to provide healthcare for families in need. In fact according to U.S Department of Health and Human Services, Obamacare has an estimated 20 million more people covered by health care than before. However, I know it is not a perfect system and has many flaws, but that is why my campaign and I will work tirelessly to expand and improve upon it.
Lastly, let’s talk about the environment. The amount of damage that we as humans have inflicted upon our environment is almost irreparable, and . The planet that we live on is packed with interesting wildlife, and useful resources, and sprawling landscapes, but each day we continue to abuse it, draining it without letting it replenish. What’s more, we pollute the environment to the point where in some places, it is literally dangerous to breathe. According to the New York Times, Chinese air pollution caused 366,000 premature deaths in 2016. Thankfully, I have a way to address this damage. Other candidates always feed you the same nonsense; we will “expand” our environmental programs; we will “ensure the best for future generations”. I’m not here to say these redundant words like everyone else. My Harmful Waste Disposal Plan and my Total Conservation Strategy give me an actual foundation to build my environmental policies and protect our nation’s treasures, while the others are built on slippery slopes of sand. I encourage you to learn more about these policies on my website.
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I hope you will seize this opportunity, not just for yourselves, but for this amazing country. Thank you."
Works Cited
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"Healthcare Estimates." U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 3 Mar. 2016,
www.hhs.gov. Accessed 6 Dec. 2016.
Wong, Edward. "Coal Burning Causes the Most Air Pollution Deaths in China, Study
Finds." The New York Times, 17 Aug. 2016, www.nytimes.com/. Accessed 6 Dec.
2016.
"1 in 10 U.S. High Schools Is a ‘dropout Factory’." NBCNews.com. NBCUniversal News Group,
29 Oct. 2007. Web. 06 Dec. 2016.
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